I have really awful writer’s block that won’t allow me to get anything remotely related to a decent idea on the page. I’m full of self-doubt and feel as though everything in my head is mush!! It’s all blah and skirting around the edges. I want to grab hold of the crux and bite into the bloody meat but the slimey slab keeps slipping out of my hands. I know that all sounds like rambling insanity but it’s all true; the intrinsic becomes the extrinsic and that is a very dangerous path; I’m sure indeed that Plath and Woolf ambled down it…no, I’m not comparing myself, I’m simply trying to distinguish where the line is between your internal hubub and the way you choose to behave in your everyday life. If you hide your turmoil are you more likely to crack later down the line? or instead filter it into acute alcoholism, drugs, sex, an eating disorder? Then is it better to let it all out and risk isolation? I feel like I’m full of these nasty thoughts and feelings that love to come out at night and take full advantage of my lonesome vulnerability.
On another tangent, completely unrelated, I’ve found myself addicted to podcasts! After all, isn’t it better to have someone else’s voice in your head for a change? Well I for one would much rather it be Sandi T of The Lesbian Mafia or KC and Elka from The Planet; yep, both big gay podcasts and both incredibly hilarious!! Sandi T is in a world of her own when it comes to honest, sharp, unadulterated humour that packs a fierce punch. Her shows all deal with important issues to do with lesbianism in the current state of our disjointed society. I love her and what it is she represents. KC and Elka are also hilarious but their podcast is really an L Word commentary and has now, sadly, ceased to exist…the final series of The L Word aired recently.
Okay on a final note, I really think Oprah is a dick. I recently heard her ask ‘if lesbianism existed because of a shortage of men?’…seriously. The bollocks that comes out of that woman’s mouth is astounding. Yes she’s done some wonderful things but my god, what unbelievable ignorance! The fact that she has so much influence over people is a scary, scary thing.
Even if you’re straight male/female or gay/lesbian, check it out…it’s pure hilarity of which may give you an unapologetic insight into the perspective of a minority you may not be privy to.
Goblin Market 